Understanding
by eyha
Summary: Dragon Quest IX story. Stella was a fairy, with knowledge far surpassing that of many mortals and Celestrians alike. Despite this, there was much in the world that she didn't understand. Her past, present, and even her own feelings... Stella/Hero


**Hello to anyone curious enough to read this,**

**It's been a very, very long time since I've uploaded anything, or for that matter really done anything on this site, hasn't it? I've been a little busy with school and stuff, but I have actually been writing, though admittedly not that often. I'm currently working on another story, which will start to be uploaded once I've finished writing a few filler chapters as buffer (filler they may be, but they do tell some useful backstory, so bear with me).**

**On the other hand, recently, this idea for a one shot hit me, and I couldn't resist writing it down. It certainly is an interesting pairing, after all. The writing might be a bit rushed, but hopefully it still came out ok. Enjoy!**

**I don't own Dragon Quest IX or any of the characters mentioned, as you may have guessed.**

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**Understanding**

Despite being part of the crew of the infamous (to Celestrians anyway) Starlight Express, one of the faerie, and immortal to boot, there was a lot of things in the world that Stella didn't understand about the world, not that she'd ever admit that, except maybe to Angel, her very long-time companion, and only if she was in a very, very good mood; he had done her a really big favour, and she couldn't think of anything else to talk about, not even her secret ambition to be a nail artist.

She didn't understand how she was born, or where, or when. She knew she was a fairy, but she didn't understand why she was so different to every other fairy that she had ever met: brash and impulsive, rather than quiet and shy, and born not as a child, as every other fairy was, but as young as a new born baby. She didn't understand why she had slowly grown up over the centuries, and now was a teenager, an age no other fairy would ever be.

She didn't understand why Sterling chose to take her in when they first met, so many years ago. Taking care of a wailing four year-old would be a daunting enough task for any man, and he had a very important full-time job to do too. Still, he did it, and he did it quite well, for which she would always be grateful. She didn't understand why she took to navigating the Starlight Express like a duck to water, knowing the spread of the world below her like the back of her hand, almost as if she had practically ruled over it in a past life. She didn't understand why she had such an 'over-inflated, self-important ego', as Sterling had described it on several occasions. She also didn't understand why she had insisted that Angel refer to her as the 'Queen of Starlight' when he had first stepped back on board after defeating Corvus, nor did she understand why him doing so induced such a cold sense of dread in her heart, until eventually she told him to stop.

She didn't understand why she was so scared when Sterling fired her, despite her desire to achieve her dreams, almost as if she feared what would happen if she was let loose upon the world below her. She didn't understand why she had felt so much guilt when that little girl in Dourbridge nearly died, even after she had persuaded Angel to retrieve the ingredients for her to make a healing potion. She didn't understand why a similar feeling took root in her heart whenever she gazed upon the parched and desolate wasteland that once was the Gittish Empire. She didn't know why these situations would conjure images into her head, images of an angry young woman held by grim-faced guards and bound in chains, screaming vile imprecations, slurs, curses and threats at her. She didn't know why Angel's research into this 'Stellestria' person caused an unexplained pang in her chest, nor did she understand why she knew, despite her refusal to accept or admit it, that she was not Celestria's sister, and she knew that with cold certainty.

She didn't know why Angel was always so boring and staid, always silent, always travelling from one objective to the next, be it to Figgs, Benevolessence, Grottos or whatever. He never complained, never rested, just moved on, fought monsters, moved on more, fought some more monsters, got a MacGuffin, rinse and repeat. She didn't know why he always turned aside her orders and cheeky comments with a soft smile and a shake of his head. She didn't know why he was so damn selfless, happily risking life and limb to help people he didn't know, giving away money that he desperately needed to get some new armour or weapons, and never once thinking of himself. Didn't he have enough problems of his own to deal with already? She didn't know why he was so kind to her, always asking her if she was alright, automatically stepping in front of her to shield her whenever they were in danger and doing anything she asked of him with nary a raised eyebrow. She had been tempted to abuse it at first, telling him to do her chores for her or to get him to buy some new clothes for herself, but she couldn't just bring herself to do so(ok, she did ask him to do a few things in the end, but she made it worth his while, right?). He was just so… innocent in so many ways, and taking advantage of that would just make her feel like some kind of parasite, and a pretty lousyfriend at that. She wanted to be useful to him, for reasons that she also couldn't understand.

She didn't understand why her heart started racing every time he said her name, when he touched her hand, when he thanked her for some meaningless task. She didn't understand why she always felt so panicked and worried when he got hurt, even though it happened so often that she should probably be getting used to it by now. When Barbarus attacked and Angel went missing, she spent days on end searching for him, sacrificing sleep and food, just so she could be sure that he was safe. She didn't understand why it felt like her heart had stopped when Aquila attacked him, and again when Corvus did exactly the same, when she thought he might possibly be –. He was her friend yes, maybe even her best friend, but it shouldn't have felt like this. She'd lost friends before, and it didn't even come close to this…

She didn't understand why it hurt so much when Angel chose to become a mortal to save the world, even though it was necessary, simply because it meant that he would never be able to see her again.

She didn't understand what she felt when he came back.

She didn't understand why she kissed him, after he completed that one last grotto (there's always another), defeated that one last monster (you can't destroy them all), and brought peace back to the land(for now at least...)

She didn't understand why all that he did in response was smile, and then throw his arms around her and kiss her back.

She didn't understand why, but she knew – held in his firm embrace, running her hands through his hair – more certain than she had ever been in her whole life, that she never wanted to be anywhere else again but by his side.

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**And that's the story! If you enjoyed it, or even if you didn't and would like to have a good rant at me for atrocities committed against spelling, grammar, or general story-telling, please review and tell me. I really do appreciate useful advice, or support. It does help me keep writing, after all.**


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